I’ve been noticing a lot recently that there are a lot of mum’s out there feeling guilty for taking time away from the kids to do something they enjoy. It’s something that is really common in the equestrian world (well everywhere really), and too often our dreams and goals as mums fall by the wayside as our focus turns towards our children.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad to focus on our children. However, as with all things, there is a balance that needs to be present for us and our children to stay at our healthiest.
So here are 3 reasons to banish that mum guilt and get out doing the things that you love!
- SELF CARE
You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your children
So often mums put themselves last, too busy taking care of everyone else to put much effort into their own needs. There is always some self sacrifice needed when looking after little people. However, this tendency towards 100% self sacrifice isn’t healthy for mums or their kids. It just leaves mum feeling ragged and worn out, short tempered and not feeling their best. Even further than that, constantly focusing on the care of others and not looking after yourself can lead to things like postnatal depression, anxiety and burnout.
If you take time out to fill up your own bucket this can only have a positive flow on effect to the rest of your family. You will be happier, lighter and more able to meet everybody else’s needs, and your family will be happier for it.
- KEEPING YOUR IDENTITY
Many women state that after they’ve had children they feel they’ve lost themselves and just become “mum”.
It’s important to do the things you love. By continuing your passions and hobbies you can hopefully prevent that lost feeling.
I know I’ve certainly felt invigorated and just like my old self when I’ve taken time away to go and ride my horse alone.
When the kids eventually leave the nest, as they inevitably will (we hope), you won’t feel as at sea because you’ve still got passion and direction doing the things that you love.
- TEACHING YOUR KIDS IMPORTANT LESSONS
You’ve most likely heard the saying ‘children are to be seen and not heard’. This was the attitude of many towards children in bygone eras. This was obviously not a great attitude to have, however in trying to correct it we’ve sometimes swung the pendulum too far in the opposite direction, almost treating kids as little kings and queens, pandering to every want.
It’s good for kids to learn that they are not the centre of the universe.
By making time for yourself, telling your children that mummy is going to go and do her own thing now, can teach important skills to your children such as:
– how to wait
– how to deal with boredom
– how to manage frustration
– to make allowances for others
It’s also important that you keep your partner or spouse first, then come the kids. Your partner was there first and will be there after. You will also be able to model what a strong relationship looks like to your children. If you’re doing the single mum thing though, you’re a superhero, that’s really hard hey.
I hope these reasons have helped to free you up to get out there and start doing the things you love – guilt free!
Happy horsing! x