Loneliness. It’s a state that is on the rise in many towns and countries. It is also something that is on the rise amongst different age groups. Typically it is something I would have associated with the elderly, but I am learning that it is also an issue for young mums.
When you’ve had a baby and the whirlwind settles down, you start to get a handle on things and your partner goes back to work, it’s easy to slide into a feeling of loneliness.
You might have an activity planned for the day, but really that only takes an hour or two. Then what are you going to do for the remaining six hours before your partner gets home?
Entertaining the baby takes up time, but I’ve come to find that its so much harder to entertain the baby when its just me at home with him. To be honest, I think I’m starting to bore him. He’s definitely sick of the lounge room, and the other rooms in the house are starting to lose their charm. As soon as we go out he’s so much happier. But where do we go? Who do we go with? All my friends work.
I’ve met some wonderful ladies at mother’s group and made a wonderful friend through our horses who also has young children, but as we feel our way into new friendships I don’t want to bombard them with requests to hang out everyday. On the other hand, maybe they are feeling the same way too?
When I do get together with adults I feel like I talk a hundred miles a minute, trying to express and share all of the experiences I’ve had alone. Then I feel guilty because I feel like I’ve spent the bulk of our time together talking and missed out on listening to their stories too.
Caring for my baby is a true joy, I am so grateful every day for him. It’s so much fun to watch him grow and discover the world. I just wish I had others to share it with throughout the day, that there were others to share my delight.
Our Western societies have become more and more individualistic, until we are where we are today without real community and support in our lives. People don’t know their neighbours, we spend our days too busy to stop and check in with others. I know I have been guilty of this.
We’ve lost the village that it takes to raise a child. How do we get it back?
I would just like to encourage you, when you see a young mum, or anyone who might be isolated or alone, don’t hustle on by in your busy haze. Take the time to stop and check in. Organise a visit or an outing, or even a phone call.
Let’s get our villages back!